THE AIRLINES
This guy is in a plane when he feels thirsty. He calls the stewardess and asks her politely for a Large Whiskey.There's a parrot in the seat next to him,who snaps,"A double Scotch and make it quick". "Yes ,sir"the stewardess says, and quickly gets the bird his drink - but ignores the guy. The parrot downs his in one gulp, and says "gimme another". The stewardess gets him a second drink, ignoring the guy again. The guy, meanwhile has been asking for his drink very politely. He decides to use the parrot's tactics and snarls at the stewardess,"You @#*$# hag, get me my bloody Scotch!". Suddenly a large co-pilot comes out of the cockpit and ejects both the guy and the parrot off the plane.

As they're falling, the parrot turns to the guy and says "You know, you're quite brave for someone who can't fly...".

New Dog Varieties

Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work

Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Oh, never mind...
MEET LEX LUTHER

A CHINESE CRESTED WHEN HE GROWS UP HE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS
NOW FOR LIFE'S LITTLE JOKE......
WHEN HE GETS OLD HE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS............??????
GOD DOES HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

AND THROUGH HIS EYES SHE FOUND STRENGTH, COURAGE AND HOPE

LONG MAY YOU RUN