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LIFE IS NOT ONE BIG JOKE


 LifesLittleJokes (DEADLY VIRUSES)
 


DEADLY VIRUSES
THE ALGORE VIRUS- Causes your computer to keep counting and counting.
THE CLINTON VIRUS- Gives you a 7 inch hard drive with no memory.
THE BOB DOLE VIRUS- (As the Viagra Virus) Makes a new hard drive out of a floppy old one.
THE LEWINSKY VIRUS- Sucks all the memory out of you computer,then e-mails everyone about what it did.
THE JESSY JACKSON TROGAN- Generats a new file while claiming to clean the Clinton Virus, then hides for 18 months.
THE RONALD REGAN VIRUS-Saves data, but forgets where it's stored.
The MIKE TYSON VIRUS- Quits ahter 2 bytes,
THE OPERAH WINFREY VIRUS- Your 300mb hard drives shrinks to 100mb, the slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb.
THE JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS- Rejects the insertation of any disks.
THE PROZAC VIRUS- Totally screws up your ram, but your processor doesn't care.
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS-Attacks only minors.
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS- Terminates some files, leaves but will be back.
AND...........
THE LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS- Reformats yur hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through the windows.










Posted by Misty at 9:19 PM - 19 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 LifesLittleJokes ( HOPE FOR A NEW DAY )
 


Posted by Misty at 1:35 AM - 9 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 LifesLittleJokes ( I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS!!!!!!!!!)
 

Posted by Misty at 9:53 AM - 9 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 LifesLittleJokes (FANTASTIC SEX)
 

Fantastic Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and
I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!"

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself.

He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.
I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble."

So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks.

Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes.

Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed.

He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The Policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing.

I've got to ask them what their secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric
fence.
Posted by Misty at 9:31 AM - 21 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 LifesLittlJokes (T. G. I. F.) THE STREAM NEEDS A SMILE
 

Posted by Misty at 10:39 AM - 21 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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